Ninety One Days

Today is Day 91 Alcohol Free. Ninety One days of saying NO 100% to The Booze Bitch. All those days ago, I hadn’t any idea what was in store for me, what lay ahead. I had no idea I would feel this overflow of joy, bursting with pride, the complete regaining of trust in myself, massive deepening of self love, and incredible, fabulous vitality. I am experiencing life on such a different level, like I only dreamed of before. The thing is, I have never in my life, from the time I became a “regular” Drinker, had this much time to allow my body to cleanse the toxins from all my cells and take in all the superior food and nutrition that has been my nutrition and lifestyle pretty much forever. In addition, I never imagined the outrageously terrifying roller coaster of emotions that come right along with all that “feeling” stuff. Sadness, grief, repulsion, compassion, inspiration (on steroids!), ideas that never stop flooding my busy brain, ALL OF IT. I am experiencing a whole new ME and wow, I will never trade living like this for my old life. There isn’t a reason on earth for me to return to drinking alcohol. Sober Life is the best life imaginable.

I credit my success to many things. First off, I became entirely fed up with how I was feeling, and who I was BE-ing. I had become a person sitting in a chair, totally isolated for hours upon hours, wasting time so I didn’t have to feel the intense guilt and shame of all my procrastinating, avoiding, boozing to extremes, at least extremes for me. My body and spirit are sensitive, so although I was never a regular bottle-a-day drinker, and certainly never approached the 2+ bottles a day drinking that many of my sober friends maxed out at, I had my own level of “way too much booze”, and it definitely had a profound effect on my health. I was not sleeping well at all, then feeling absolutely lethargic and depressed upon awakening, counting the minutes until I could find temporary relief in bottle form, only to repeat the cycle endlessly. Kept on riding that hamster wheel! Going nowhere good, nowhere I wanted to spend time. It was excruciatingly painful, and I am beyond thankful I finally felt enough courage and self loathing to DO something different. I changed who I had been to experience who I could become.

The sober groups I engage in have been my lifeline. Annie Grace has been my SHE-ro. Her book https://thisnakedmind.com is filled with inspiration, science, antidotes, compassion, and humor. I highly, highly recommend all of Annie’s work. I joined one of her FaceBook groups and post and read daily. I love supporting others, and being part of the group keeps me super-accountable. In addition to Annie Grace, many “Quit Lit“ (Sober) authors have been hugely inspiring and encouraging to me, and as I listen daily to their stories, I am amazed and further inspired. My world has expanded in the most beautiful ways because I said YES!! to sobriety. Now I have a mission. I feel deeply called to join the sober community, the Sober Sphere, to be part of the world of incredible souls who bear all and share their journeys. I am now writing my own account, somewhat of a memoir I suppose, of my personal journey to Sobersville. I hope you will want to read it!

As I spent time yesterday with my favorite little man on the planet, my darling 7 year old Grandson Noah, I enjoyed him and our time together perhaps more than ever. Not having to think about when I will be able to start drinking keeps me present to what is, keeps me in the “now” moment. I am so much more present, happier, and full of energy than I ever was in the past. The idea of returning to drinking seems so absurd now. I was addicted for many reasons. I thought I loved the taste, I certainly loved the romance, I loved the history and story behind the culture of winemaking – but I can enjoy all of that without ever having to swallow a sip. I never want to be someone who preaches or makes anyone feel uncomfortable. I know it is possible to have a positive relationship with wine or any kind of booze, and I honor you if you have that. However, I do feel I want to join the crusade against being duped to believe we must drink alcohol in order to fit in, to relax, to de-stress, to laugh, to dance, to feel pretty, or sexy, to enjoy our lives. I want to be a loud voice against the dangers of alcohol intoxication. If you knew how many times I endangered myself and others by driving when I should not have been driving, post consumption of alcohol, you would be disgusted. Somehow my Angels looked over me and I never came close to having anything bad happen – well, except that time after wine tasting in Los Olivos when I actually fell asleep at the wheel for a few seconds and was driving 75MPH on the side of the highway!! What I am saying is that I count my blessings every single day for all the grace I have received, and I really want others to understand how misguided we have been as a society. Drinking to intoxication and driving under the influence is SO wrong, just don’t do it. PLEASE. I will now get off my soap box, and I hope you don’t think me a hypocrite. I was lucky. I AM lucky, one of the luckiest people on the planet. I want you to be lucky too. Quitting booze has been the best gift I have ever given myself, and I want that joy for you, too. IF you want it for yourself. We all deserve to be living our best lives, and for me, my best life means a sober life. Thank you for listening. If I can change just one life for the better, I will feel ultimately rewarded. This Sober Life brings more benefits than I could ever name. I hope to see you on Sober Island. Let’s go surfing!